WTF IS THIS?
by Sadak0
Summary: PG13 for some yaoi-ish... things. :O Uh, I wrote this most likely under the influence of ecstacy, LCD, PCP, or some other drug that induces insanity. I'm uploading this for my own boredom.


What the crap is this piece of utter… dreck!? It's awful. But it amused me. I wrote it when I was on drugs. Or something. Raven from Zoids (Chaotic Century/Guardian Force) gets a dimension-traveling device from a strange girl and is transported to the Feudal Era on Earth. It's very short, so count your blessings. Also. Kala is a… bah, I'm not explaining it. In order to promote my own old pieces of shit, read my other stories if you're SO intent on finding out Kala's identity.

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_All was peaceful on Planet Zi after the appearance of a certain pink-haired girl had come and gone. But a tiny smidgeon of her still remained in the hands of a…rather _sexy _young man…_

"Shadow, get your mouth off the stick! It's MINE! I said get it off! You're ruining it!"

A young sable-haired man, most likely around eighteen, wrenched a medium-sized metal stick from his tamed metal dinosaur's mouth (the tame metal dinosaur better known as an organoid). The stick in particular had a few knobs and buttons upon it, along with a small screen. Obtained from a young girl with pink hair in exchange for the blue organoid he had been keeping at his house it was rather confounding. He had gotten a rather hard smack on the head for that exchange by the owner of the organoid, but none-the-less he still had this peculiar metal stick.

The black organoid, whose name was in fact Shadow, grumbled in discontent as he watched his master fiddle with the stick. He was actually quite irritated by that. His master wasn't the only one perplexed by that stick! He wanted to play with it as well.

"I'm _trying_ to figure out how it works, Shadow. And if anything happens, tell Kala I went to… go destroy some random arch-nemesis miles and miles away and won't be back for awhile."

Shadow's inanimate but somehow articulate sky-blue eyes blinked twice, but he nodded in agreement with his master. Shadow could infer that his master was absorbed with the task at hand and obviously wasn't putting in any effort to anything else. That excuse, especially.

As the young man, whose name was Raven toiled away at the stick, Shadow watched him curiously, jumping when a gasp of realization emitted from Raven's jaws… or when Raven really said anything in particular.

"Holy crap. 'Dimension number two-two-seven-five? Destination confirmed? What in the name of sh-"

Suddenly, a brilliant flare of luminosity engulfed the room, blinding Shadow and causing Raven to squeal in surprise. When it died down, Shadow looked about the room, and his beloved master was nowhere to be found! He upturned tables, scoured boxes, and even looked inside the porno magazines that in fact belonged not to Raven, but his deceased father figure Gunter, but nowhere was his master!

Shadow, deeply concerned, sat down rather awkwardly and realized he would have to give that horrible excuse to Kala.

Meanwhile, on Earth, in the Feudal Era of Japan… 

Violet optics fluttered wildly and raven locks were brushed past them as a young man straightened himself from quite the wild ride. Shaking his head, he gazed upon his surroundings, puzzled by where he was. Lush greenery, buzzing bees, and… a rather tall… man (or was it a woman? He couldn't tell.) with very long platinum tresses and an elaborate kimono accented with armor and a fluffy piece of fur over the shoulder. Raven raised an eyebrow and so did the androgynous figure before him. Man or woman, they were very beautiful.

"And who are you, woman?" asked the figure in a deep masculine tone, finally answering Raven's question of gender.

Raven blinked slightly, not sure how to respond being just called a _woman_ so harshly. He opened his mouth to respond, but the man cut him off quickly.

"Never mind that, then. Your identity does not concern me, because… you are now my mistress," the man purred, his golden eyes twinkling with sensuality. "My name is Sesshoumaru-sama, and you should refer to me only as such." Sesshoumaru slid his clawed fingers delicately under Raven's chin, causing a redness to creep across the black-haired man's cheeks. "Do you understand?"

Raven blinked, the pupils in his eyes shrinking, but he nodded involuntarily. He opened his mouth to talk, trying to heighten his voice to sound more feminine. He did not understand why though! Why, why was he succumbing to this? "Where am I, Sesshoumaru-sama…? And, what are you?"

Sesshoumaru cocked his eyebrow again. "You are in Japan… I am the Demon Lord of all the Western Lands."

Raven staggered backwards, eyes widened. Japan? Where was that? Demon? What the hell was going on? He felt so weak next to this man, this… demon…made his groin and knees tremble at the same time. It was the strangest feeling he had ever experienced. It was fear and sexuality mixed together, it made his entire body tremble in anticipation of what Sesshoumaru-sama had planned.

The demon smirked slightly, "Why do you ask? Are you foreign?"

Raven did nothing but nod slightly.

"All the more better for I," Sesshoumaru grinned, and took Raven by his gloved hand, pulling it off slowly, his golden optics drilling deep holes into the violet ones opposite them. Suddenly, Raven felt warm lips against his and hands against his back, and he immediately put on a sense of alarm. This was definitely uncalled for! He was straight, dammit!

But if he was straight, why was his tongue creeping into the demon's mouth?

His eyes closed slowly, and he pressed himself against Sesshoumaru's body, feeling a clawed hand tracing down his back, across his butt and suddenly stopping at his crotch, feeling a slight lump.

Sesshoumaru immediately pulled back, his eyes flaming with fury, but the rest of his face stolid.

"You're a male!?" he hissed into Raven's face, and Raven shuddered with fear and arousement as Sesshoumaru not only spit in his face but reached around to grab his ass as well.

The sable-haired teenager did nothing but squeak, "Yes…"

Sesshoumaru grumbled and stared at the ground for a moment, contemplating deeply some type of decision, apparently. "Then we will continue this in a more secretive place," he finally decided on, and a seductive glint in his eye flashed as he gripped Raven's wrist.

Raven's eyebrows elevated and he took a step back, distressed with Sesshoumaru's comment, and as he attempted to twist himself away, Sesshoumaru's strong clutch kept Raven firmly in place as he led them to his castle.

And, back on Planet Zi again… P.S., say "Yes, Mommy, I am a Gerber Baby!" if you want to read what Raven and Sesshoumaru did! :D

"He… went to go destroy some random arch-nemesis miles and miles away and won't be back for a while?" a young female with short, wildly spiky hair asked discontentedly to a coal-coloured organoid.

The organoid nodded exuberantly, hoping with all his metal heart that perhaps his master's lover would fall for the half-hearted lie.

Kala sighed sadly. "He really is running out of excuses, isn't he, Shadow?"

Shadow did nothing but nod, and Kala sauntered out of the room to fix up some incredible edible spreadable.

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I don't own anything here except for Kala. I made her up. :D


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